rock bottom

Archive, Writing

her face was blue and white
descriptions of heavier times
fell from her mouth

she wanted to sink their ship
he pushed her for more
until she fell overboard

Awards Time | Some News

Archive, Life

Some news – I’ve been shortlisted for two awards in the Blog Awards Ireland. The first is for “Best Blog Post,” in which “Lose You or Lose Me?” is nominated. The second is for “Best Innovation Blog.” That’s for my YouTube channel, jessiblahtv.

How mental.

Some Upcoming Events – CraicCon & Summer in the City

Archive, Life

YouTube is a big thing that a lot of people don’t get. There are plenty of events held worldwide to celebrate the platform, its content creators and the international communities it creates. One of these events is CraicCon, Irelands very own meet-up for both content creators and subscribers.

Last year, I attended the event (not that you’d know it as I’ve yet to even look at my vlogging footage, wherever it may be – worst daily vlogger ever). Although we all hid under trees for a while, the rain could not dampen our spirit (ba dum dum tsch). Surrounding yourself by people who are hilarious, kind and get you is a great way to spend a day, but the best part is certainly that everybody in attendance is passionate about online video creation and the future of digital media. This year, I’m looking forward to doing it all again and I can’t recommend enough that you join me.

CraicCon is being held at UCD in Dublin this Saturday, and tickets are available anseo for just five euro. The wonderful Marco Danesi (marcoinabox) will be reppin’ YouTube with his panel on collaboration, while the other panel “Craicing YouTube” will see a number of the bigger YouTubers among us discussing their success. When I say that Ireland has some of the best YouTubers in the world here, I honestly mean it. I’ll link a few of my favourites at the bottom of this post.

I’ll also be at Summer in the City for all three days next week, which I’m ecstatic about. This will be my first time in attendance, and I truly adore London. Being in the city again will be wonderful.

That’s all I wanted to say. If you see me at either event, please say hi! I often get tweets after events from people saying they saw me at a concert or wherever, but were too afraid to approach me. But you know, I don’t usually bite!

Slán!

Some of my Favourite Irish YouTubers
WorriedBubble – Rory O’Donnell (gaming/vlogs)
dawnstarmedia – Patrick Corr (film maker)
Nubkeks – Kevin Murray (gaming)
jacksepticeye – Sean McLoughlin (gaming)
MCluvs2laugh – Mary-Claire (vlogs/sketchs)
BrickBreakGaming – Colin Regan, Kieran Tindley, Mike Corcorran (gaming and the odd vlog)
ChewingSand – Hazel Hayes (vlogs)
CharChar3211 – Charlotte Ryan (vlogs/baking)
TheMakeupChair – Sinead Cady (makeup)

Are You My Home?

Archive, Writing

I’ve tried to write this a thousand times, but no words seem good enough for you. I can’t explain how you make me think, feel, what you make me say and do. You’re everything right but it’s all wrong – the timing, the place, the beat of our song. I can’t let you be the one who got away — that’d mean there would come a day without you – but what else am I supposed to do?

You’ve said the same yourself. It’s unfair, but nothing fair comes easy. Is it time we give up, or do we make ourselves work to hold onto something that we should have let go? Because if I leave then my head will be a mess, but if I stay I’m dropping the rest of my life. Don’t they say home is where the heart is? Well my home is in Ireland, but my heart will forever be with you. If the roles were reversed, what would you do? Give it up for me? I couldn’t let you do that. We’re too new to each other to even consider it.

Damn. Did I just help myself decide?

I don’t mind giving it up as long as this, us, is serious. It’s not like I’ve much back home. I’ve a few friends, but without each other we’ll be okay. Three months here, I’m on the last lap in my internship. No matter what I decide, I need to figure out what’s next, and it’s a decision I need to make soon. Otherwise I’ll end up living here on the streets of Cameroon.

Okay. I’ve said it already. I have to go. I can’t give away everything I have to show for myself, only for a man I barely know. But it’s not only a man I barely know. It’s you. Equally exciting and terrifying, you are the unknown.

And that’s why I have to leave.

I think you’re a dream, but nothing is what it seems. Right?

But your smile. Your laugh. Your curious ways. How you crinkle your nose when you laugh so hard you can’t speak. The way we argue without really fighting. Your selflessness and generosity. Your humour and your soul. I’m really torturing myself to try and stay, in case you didn’t know.

How can thinking of you be so torturous, when I giggle upon hearing your name?

On June 28th, I’ll board the plane but I won’t say goodbye. It’ll make it real that this is over. Maybe I can whisper if I try. I’ll keep my eyes dry as I’m lucky to have known you. Even if it wasn’t for a lifetime like I dreamed, loving you was better than I thought life could ever be.

Happy Ever Afters

Writing

If I possessed the willpower to write stories — long, elegant tales filled with love and hope, perhaps powering on for a whole series — then I would write about us. We are no Romeo and Juliet   (I know that oh-so well )  but we are what novels are made of. Love filled with warmth and courage, even when we should be afraid for the future. I admire that you have no fear when we face such moments. That’s the only reason I can face them myself.

No matter what battles we brave, we trust that we will win. Why? Because one day, we will be king and queen. Wait, no — I’ve got it all wrong. You already are a king, and maybe I am your queen. You are the king of my heart (oh, I’ve gone all soft and cheesy — look what you’ve done). I can’t deny it. I hope that I’m the queen of yours, but you are a bit of a mummy’s boy. One day I will rule though.

One day.

And on that day, I will write of the adversities we faced which will hopefully inspire our children – and maybe others too – with words of encouragement, letting them know that you can win the war. You can beat the odds. You can find the one you love and nothing bad has to happen. We are no Romeo and Juliet, but do we really want to be? Happy ever afters do exist. We’re living proof of it.

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I like to write random things like that sometimes. It’s completely fictional (sadly). Hope you liked it!