How I Love You

Archive, Writing

I can’t think straight. If I could, my head would be telling me I should wait until the morning, when my mind is clear. When all I can hear is what I want. But in the moment, when you’re looking at me like that, and I know that I’ll never get this chance again, all that’s spinning in my head is to say how I love you.

But do I really? I’m not sure. I’ve never been in love before. They say you know when you are, and I think I know right now. This small part of me, the one that constantly self-doubts has decided to shout. “It’s not love. You’ll make a fool of yourself. It’s too early to tell.”

I feel like I died and God gave me a choice of two doors. Behind one, heaven. The other is hell. It’s up to me where I go, and I really can’t tell. Of course I want heaven, but I won’t know if I’ve chosen rightly until I’m knocking, and I walk in, and next of all I’m stuck inside with no going back. Could this you be a greatly planned trap?

I mean, of course I like you. I always have. Why am I hesitating? It’s been how long since we first started dating, and yet I’m still nervously waiting. Why? In case you don’t love me too? I know that you will one day soon. Saying it first and getting a “thank you” back would be better than to never tell you that. I could die tomorrow and never get to see your reaction when I tell you how I feel – that I do love you. My face can’t deny it, even if I try. They say you can tell by the look in my eye. A picture says a thousand words, but this moment says none but three. I think it’s almost time. All I need is this – to say one, two, three. Breathe.

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3 thoughts on “How I Love You

      1. I’ve published a lot of posts on my blog that I was initially really hesitant about and each time have been amazed at the positive responses I ended up receiving. This blogging community is so wonderfully understanding. I’m sure a lot of people have felt this exact same way. You expressed it so well, too. 🙂

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